Friday, July 14, 2006

It's 12.00am in the morning. And i'm especially bored... there's nothing really to do... I used to really want the internet, and now that I have it, i realize that it isn't really that fantastic anyways. Sigh, there's no one to talk to, and even if there were, what would we talk about? Yeah, of course the meaningless conversations and everything, but i'm abit tired to elaborate of how conversations nowadays are superficial.

I suddenly realized something. That I have lost to our dear friend Calvin in almost every aspect of my life.

Analyzing his song "Project Kayda", it appears that his hair had been fondled by a certain girl. I, on the other hand, have yet to experience my hair fondled by someone of the opposite sex.

Also, it appears that Calvin had home brewed Latte at a girl's HOUSE. I love coffee... but the only coffee I have consumed is either at the nearby kopitiam, or mostly at my humble abode... anywhere but a female's house.

Sigh... I am truly a loser. Calvin has also hunted down some girl's favourite satay. Analyzing my sad life, I realized that I have not yet hunted down any girl's favourite food! Oh my god!!

Well, Calvin did get a girl with a sweet smile, giving him the benefit of the doubt of course... since his lyric included "I love the sweetness of your smile". Well, I've met many girls with sweet smiles, they just don't seem to be fond of my smile. Which I do understand, because I'm not a delusional person. Sigh... a girl with a sweet smile played with his hair. Now i'm getting jealous.

"I love the decorations on my econs file"... I had my fair share of vandalism on my econs files... thanks to people like Adeline who enjoys drawing smiley faces. But no, not a girl with sweet smile with a certain affection for me. Calvin wins again... counting the above bouts, I have been owned 5-0.

OWNAGE!! I have been owned by Calvin... and its not a pretty sight. Sadly enough, there's nothing much I can do about this unfortunate fact. Why is that so? Well allow me to explain.

Firstly, meeting a girl with a sweet smile would be mandatory. Okay, seeing is the easy part. Meeting, well that's another story. A totally different story. I believe my luck is particularly down especially for matters which involve achieving any sort of affection from the opposite sex.

Secondly, I need to get close to her, such that I would get to hunt down her favourite satay or whatever. Impossible. Unlike Calvin, I do not possess his inherent qualities that are totally, beyond me. Girls flock to him. Girls seem to all be magicians around me. They simply disappear, much to my disappointment.

This goes to contribute to the reason why no girl will ever play with my hair. For obvious reasons, as well as the impossiblility of me being able to con any girl to touch any part of my body.

I can't believe it. Calvin did it. I think we've all been being bastards to the wrong person. This man here did what most of us couldn't do! He managed to work against the odds and transgress the boundaries of his supposed limitations to finally have his hair entangled with a woman's fingers!

THIS MAN SHOULD BE OUR IDOL!

He has the mojo! He has the power! He has the charm! He has the looks! He has everything that I do not have. By worshiping the god of romance, maybe there could be a teeny weeny improvement in my absent love life.

Oh holy successor of Cupid, bless me with the power!!!
Teach me how to get my hair entwined with the fingers of a woman!!!
I am willing to learn, master!!
Give me a chance! I will not fail you(i hope)!!

-evan. who finally sees the light and repents. Forgive me all powerful Calvin!! I grovel beneath you're omnipotence! Bestow me with the strength needed to escape singlehood!!
the guys at 12:05 AM